How I Got Here
Living under the shadows.
Breaking the stronghold of my limiting belief systems.
How I transformed my life.
Living Under The Shadows
I’ve always had this burning desire to help people, but I didn’t know how to help or what to do to help.
I’ve always wanted to start a blog but didn’t know what to blog about.” Blogging has been an intense passion of mine for a very long time.
After my transformation breakthrough healing in 2019, I got a vision from God to start a business by sharing my transformational story to help others who are stuck, sick, and tired of their life like I was. “Immediately, I was like,
“Noooo, there is no way I’m doing that culturally where I’m from (Jamaica). That’s called (telling people your business), and we don’t do that. Years and years of emotional and mental pain swept underneath the rugs and covered up will be revealed. And I am not doing that. “The world will know your business, girl; you cannot do that.” LOL
I seriously felt like Moses, trying to talk God out of sending him to Egypt to deliver the Israelites. But then I said, “No,” my story will help those stuck, sick, and tired of their lives like I was get their transformational breakthrough healing. So, I must share my story because the good outweighs the bad. The bad, meaning I will be ashamed of my story. But my story will help to change and transform people’s lives. Telling my story is also a part of my healing process.
Dark Days
For most of my life, I was unsatisfied, unfulfilled, stuck, sick, and tired of my life. I suffered from emotional and mental pain and childhood trauma. As I like to call it, my dark days. So, my dark days were filled with hopelessness-depression, anxiety, shame, guilt, fear of failure, low self-confidence, social anxiety, low self-worth, low self-esteem, limiting belief systems, fixed mindset, victim mentality, negative thought processes, people-pleasing, blame, self-blame, self-guilt, shyness, and timidity.
I used to be so ashamed and sick of where I was in life. I used to look at myself in the mirror and be so sick and tired of my life that I couldn’t achieve anything; I would never be anything. There were days when I would be so emotionally and mentally sick and tired of my life that I would be out of it for days, just going through the motions of life. I was conditioned to believe I was stupid because that is what I was told growing up. I was stupid, and I would be nothing.
I never throw my whole self at anything. I give up when things get complicated and challenging, and sometimes, I do not even bother to attempt a task. I would look at the task and immediately think, why even bother? You are going to fail anyway. It is too difficult. So, you might as well not even try.
I wish I could wake up in a better mood, have more energy, be more productive in my day, and make better choices in life.
I dreaded waking up in the mornings. Imagine waking up in the mornings, and the first thing you do is an eye roll and then say, “Not another day, really God.” I was so ungrateful. I remember watching one of Bishop TD Jakes’s sermons, where he said, “How dare you get up and waste your day. You might as well stay in bed and give the day to someone who will make use of it.” That was one of my turning points.
Low Self-Esteem
I feel less than and see others as better than I am because I didn’t think I had what they had to succeed. I used to be envious of them. I always thought I was not good enough and could not achieve anything good. I feel like a complete failure because I have failed at so many things in the past. I used to see failure as a final and a bad thing.
I didn’t like my accent and wanted to get rid of it badly. I always thought that because of my accent, I was not fluent enough in my words. Therefore, I would always avoid engaging in conversations.
I often asked God why he had me speak this way. Although people complimented me on how beautiful my accent was, I didn’t believe them.
(Now I don’t know when to shut up) LOL
Shyness And Timidity
Having a conversation with someone would be very difficult for me. I was too embarrassed to look at the person’s face because I had always thought I was being judged. So, I would look away. I was very cautious about everything that I said.
I was afraid to speak up, ask questions, ask for clarification, or raise my hand. I dreaded being called on in class or any social event to answer a question because I would be too embarrassed to speak. I feared taking risks, so I stayed in my comfort zone with the familiar.
Living With Social Anxiety
Living with social anxiety made me nervous and sweaty; my heart would beat very fast, or my mind would go blank if I had to perform or were called on to give an opinion, presentation, or an answer. Going on job interviews would be a daily nightmare leading up to the interview; I would have sleepless and restless nights.
I have missed many job interviews or hung up the phone on interviewers because my throat would clump, I got frozen, and I couldn’t speak; I feared that my answers would be incorrect or not good enough. Or I wouldn’t know what to say or even remember what to say because I was so focused on not failing.
I would freeze up every time I had to meet someone in authority.
Meeting authority figures or seeing people I thought were more important than me would make my heart beat fast, and I would be lost for words. Sitting around in a room of people waiting to introduce myself or say something would be very fearful, terrifying, and nerve-racking.
People Pleasing
I would say “YES” when asked for a favor, even though sometimes I really wanted to say “NO” because it would be an inconvenience for me. And then I would resent them for saying “YES” later.
I cared too much about what other people thought about me, so I would do and say anything to get them to like and approve of me. I put other people’s feelings before mine. Even when I was uncomfortable, I would rather them be happy. I rarely gave my honest opinion; instead, I would agree with and follow the views of others.
I feared not being liked by others, and I would say and do things that were out of my character so that others would accept me. I lowered my standards and accepted the standards of others just to fit in.
Guilt And Blame
I used to blame God for not putting inside of me what he put inside of others to succeed. I would see people around me with great potential accomplishing great things and succeeding, and I was convinced that God had put something different in them, and I was short-changed.
I never took ownership of where I was in my life. My life made me sick. I blamed my past mistakes, regrets, upbringing, shortcomings, and mess-ups for where I was in my life.
I blamed my parents for not being better or wealthy. I wanted better parents; I would’ve indeed turned out differently.” I Blamed my parents for messing up my life. Their abandonment of me as a child made me resentful, which resulted in anger, unforgiveness, and bitterness toward them for many years.
I played the victim role a lot. I felt guilty for not being further in life, so I threw pity parties: “Poor me.” I couldn’t do anything right. I am nothing, and I will be nothing. I used to feel like a complete failure like I couldn’t achieve anything. Being stuck in my life made me feel guilty about where I was. I would feel guilty about how unfair my life was and how much of a failure I was.
Breaking the stronghold of my limiting belief system
I’ve lived with the stronghold of limited belief systems for most of my life. Living with a fixed mindset made me perform below my capabilities and abilities, which prevented me from living up to my fullest potential because of the low standards that I set for myself.
Limited Mindset
Whenever things got challenging, I would give up and no longer pursue them. So, I never threw my whole self at anything. Sometimes, I wouldn’t even attempt the task because I knew I would fail anyway, “so why bother to try.” Everything in life was just too difficult to accomplish in my book. I’ve always believed that other people were fighting against me and never wanted me to accomplish anything or that they didn’t like me. Or it must be the will of God for me not to do or achieve certain things in life.
Self-Judgmental Limiting Beliefs System
I inflicted self-judgment and negative thought processes on myself by believing that I was not good enough for certain types of jobs. Or I was not qualified to live in certain neighborhoods. “They will never like, accept, or give me a chance because I didn’t have the right background, qualification, or education. I saw my life as inferior to other people’s lives, so I never evolved beyond the measure I set. I then resorted to the wishing-well lifestyle.
The Wishing-Well Mindset
Wishing-well life ” is getting up every day wishing that things will change and get better for you,” but you are taking no action toward changing your life.
I wished for a better life. I wished I was as brilliant as others. I wish I had the opportunity that others have. I thought God was more generous to them when he created them, so he put everything inside them they would need to succeed, and I was short-changed in the creativity, brilliantness, and greatness department.
That is why I was stuck, and they are succeeding. I wished I had more confidence, joy, and happiness; I wished I were more talented and successful. I wanted to wake up in a better mood, have more energy, be more productive in my day, and make better choices in my life.
“But then, finally, I was sick and tired of being sick and unfulfilled with my life and thought there must be a better way of living.
I was tired of sitting around and wasting my life.” So, I started seeking help, asking questions, and seeking clarification.
I started to work on relinquishing my limited belief system.
Breaking The Stronghold Of My Limiting Belief System
I started to transform my limiting belief system into a growth mindset. I’ve discovered that I was not born to live a mediocre life but a life that brings fulfillment, joy, happiness, and abundance to serve and help others. And I didn’t have to live with these limitations anymore.
How I transformed my life
In 2015, I started a new morning routine of spending time with God and meditating on his words through my daily devotion, developing an intimate relationship with Him. I had a divine encounter with God. I started watching as many faith-based videos on YouTube, which allowed me to encounter God personally.
This encounter changed, transformed, and healed me, and his words began manifesting in my life. I received a personal revelation of who I was and who God created me to be.
I started using positive daily affirmations to help transform my limiting mindset into a growth mindset. I wrote them down, displayed them where I could see them, and recited them daily. This led to a gradual increase in my self-confidence, allowing me to start breaking the limitations in my life. I started pushing myself out of my comfort zone by taking small steps toward doing the things that had held me back for so long.
I learned to push past discomfort to meet my goals, learn new things, and embrace challenges. Instead of seeing failure as a bad thing, I learned from my failures about what I could have done differently to avoid repeating these mistakes. I sought help from mentorship, training, educational content, research, reading, and listening to self-development and self-improvement books and podcasts. Along the way, I picked up successful habits from role models and mentors.
I began taking personal responsibility for my life and taking the necessary steps to get rid of blame, guilt, timidity, shyness, people-pleasing, limited thinking, social anxiety, and low self-confidence. As a result, I have received my transformational breakthrough.
Transforming My Limitations:
Through this process, I have been able to transform my limitations into opportunities for personal growth and development. By surrounding myself with people who believe in me and by believing in my God-given abilities, I have gained the confidence to take risks and pursue my goals with passion and determination.
I have learned that self-accountability is key to achieving success and that it is important always to challenge myself to be the best version of myself.
I commit to keep learning and growing by reading books, taking courses, and trying new things. This enabled me to expand my knowledge and skills, giving me greater confidence and self-worth.
Though there may be obstacles and setbacks, I know I can overcome any challenge with God’s help and achieve greatness with the right mindset.
Transforming Unhappiness:
I stopped basing my happiness on outside resources. I started building a strong foundation on Christ, allowing me to experience joy and happiness not determined by outside resources.
I set achievable goals and worked towards them. This gave me a sense of purpose and direction to follow, and it helped me stay motivated throughout my journey. I consciously surrounded myself with positive people who supported and encouraged me,
I regularly practiced self-care to nourish my inner self and took better care of my mental and emotional health, which helped me feel more balanced and centered. I learned to let go of things that were beyond my control, realizing that worrying about them only caused me unnecessary stress and pain.
https://billhigh.com/faith/how-do-you-define-joy/
How I Transformed Shyness And Timidness:
2Timothy 1:7
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”
Practicing mindfulness and positive self-talk has helped me to overcome my shyness and timidness. By focusing my mind on the present moment and reminding myself of my strengths and capabilities, I’m able to approach social situations with more confidence and ease.
In addition, I’ve started putting myself in situations that challenge me and force me to step outside of my comfort zone, such as attending networking events, speaking up, asking questions, and volunteering. I’ve found that facing my fears head-on has been the most effective way to overcome them.
Overall, transforming my shyness and timidness has been a journey but one incredibly rewarding thing. By relying on my faith, educating myself, practicing mindfulness and positive self-talk, and taking risks, I’ve learned to be more confident, assertive, and outgoing.
I Learned The Power Of Forgiveness:
Through my struggles with unforgiveness, I have learned the incredible power of forgiveness. By listening to faith-based sermons and podcasts, studying God’s word, and seeking guidance from mentors, I have come to understand that forgiveness is not for the other person but for myself.
It allows me to let go of unforgiveness and start with a clean slate.
As Marianne Williamson once said,
“Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”
By practicing forgiveness, we can improve our physical, mental, and emotional health and experience a range of benefits, such as reduced stress, anxiety, and depression, as well as improved sleep, blood pressure, and cholesterol levels.
. https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/memberarticles/unforgiveness-and-your-health
I Stopped Living In Guilt And Shame:
I have freed myself from the burden of guilt and shame by releasing self-condemnation, self-judgment, past regrets, mistakes, and mess-ups. Instead, I have started to ground myself in the present and look forward to creating a new future that I can enjoy looking back on with joy and fulfillment.
My philosophy is simple: what’s done is done, so there’s no point in dwelling on it. Instead, I choose to learn from my mistakes and use them as fuel to do better next time.
I Stopped Being A People-Pleaser:
I am liberated to finally let go of the need to please everyone and focus on my own happiness. I have learned that saying “no” to others doesn’t make me a bad person and that setting boundaries is an act of self-care.
Instead of seeking validation from others, I started to find validation from the word of GOD. I began to trust my instincts and make decisions based on what felt right for me rather than what others thought was best.
It was a journey of self-discovery and growth, but it was worth it. I am now living a more authentic and fulfilling life because I stopped being a people-pleaser. PRAISE GOD!!!!!!!
I Invested In Myself And Became More Confident:
I have discovered my true, God-given purpose and my true potential. I became unstoppable, undefeated, and unshakable. “I dedicated myself to personal growth by reading self-development and self-improvement books, building a solid rock foundation on the word of God, listening to inspirational podcasts like Power Forward Success Stories Transformation Academy and Glassdoor in Pursuit, and consistently taking steps to learn and grow.
With daily goal setting and action plans, and embracing my God-given calling, I reach new heights daily.” PRAISE BE TO GOD
https://connectionsparadise.com/book-gallery/
https://www.uwm.com/power-forward
https://www.glassdoor.com/blog/lp/inpursuit/
https://transformationacademy.com/podcasts/life-coaching-toolbox-podcast/
Releasing Self-blame:
By releasing self-blame and accepting responsibility, I am empowered to create positive changes in my life. Each mistake or disappointment is an opportunity to learn and grow, and I am committed to using those experiences to become a better version of myself.
I am excited about the limitless possibilities that my future holds. I have learned to accept that my past cannot be changed, and I have moved on to a brighter and better future.”
Transforming Social Anxiety Into Power:
For most of my life, I was held back by negative and irrational thoughts that revolved around being judged, embarrassing myself when speaking, and failing in upcoming events.
However, I realized that I had to overcome these thoughts to pursue my true calling and purpose. Speaking up and sharing my story was crucial for me to help transform lives. Therefore, I began taking small steps, such as joining small groups and preparing ahead of time. These small steps helped me overcome my social anxiety and gave me the power to share my voice with the world.”
Practicing Gratitude:
I wake up every day with a deep sense of gratitude and thankfulness to God for guiding me through my journey. Despite facing numerous obstacles, I am now living a beautiful life with a purpose. Helping others transform their lives is my true calling, and it is the most precious gift I could ever receive.
Looking in the mirror, I barely recognize the new version of myself. It is a remarkable experience that fills me with so much gratitude. My family, good health, parents, and amazing friends have been my pillars of strength, and I am deeply grateful for their unwavering support.
My mentors have been a constant source of inspiration, motivating me to keep pushing. With their guidance, I continue to transform into the best version of myself. I am truly blessed and filled with immense gratitude for this beautiful life.
I Stopped Comparing Myself:
I have learned to stop comparing myself to others and to embrace my uniqueness. My biggest victory is that I am wonderfully and fearfully made in God’s image. I love myself for who I am and for what makes me unique.
I have become more confident in running my own race and embracing my imperfections. I own all the different and unique parts that make me who I am. I choose to focus my time and energy on my own life rather than on the lives of others. I understand everyone’s journey is different, and I focus on my own journey.
I have started believing in the greatness, abilities, and capabilities that God has given me. I have transformed my belief system from “I’m not enough” to “I am enough, amazing, capable, and extraordinary”.
I know I am far more capable than I give myself credit for. I believe I was born to manifest God’s goodness and glory, and I expect excellent and favorable results in everything that I do.
It's within Us!
My deepest fear
My deepest fear is not that I am inadequate, My deepest fear is that I am powerful beyond measure. It’s my light, not the darkness that most frightens me.
I ask myself, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who am I not to be? I am a child of God; my playing small doesn’t serve the world. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure about me.
I was born to manifest the glory that’s within me. It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone. And as I let my own light shine, I unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As I am liberated from my own fear, my presence automatically liberated others.
Marianne Williamson